Over the weekend I met an older relative of my fiancé. I hope to never see her again. She put on a friendly show and smiled a lot, but she betrayed herself with a “joking” question.
“You know you’re not the first guy she’s dated right?”
First of all, you aren’t fooling anyone with your wording, we all know you mean she’s had sex before me. So fuck you and your bullshit sex-negative attitude.
Fuck you for implying that women are little more than fuck-dolls and that once they’ve been “used” they are damaged goods and not worth shit. Humans have far more worth to them than that regardless of their gender. And to be quite frank, sex is a skill you get better at with practice – I wouldn’t want a virgin because they don’t know shit and they’re a damned project. Especially if she’s been a virgin up until friggin’ 26 years old!
Fuck you for imply there should be a different standard for men than for women, because you certainly didn’t seem perturbed by the fact that at 30 (when I met my fiancé) I certainly wasn’t a virgin either. I’m not going to hold anyone else to a standard I don’t aspire to, but I guess that isn’t a problem for a hypocritical old hag like yourself. I assume you still hold yourself in pretty fucking high regard, even though you’ve (*gasp*) had The Sex!
Fuck you for implying that I’m the sort of mouth-breathing Neanderthal who considers a woman his property and would be scandalized or even slightly embarrassed that his girlfriend had ever seen another penis! Newsflash: we both have sex with other people and we can’t imagine how horrible your puritan nightmare of a sex-life must be. I wouldn’t want to be the type of person you’d call a friend.
Fuck you for obviously trying to drive a wedge between us within ten minutes of seeing us together for the very first time, as you obviously felt this was a major issue. Did you assume I was shocked she wasn’t a virgin? Do you envision our relationship being shrouded in lies and deceit so that we can’t even know each other’s sexual history, and that this bombshell would shake everything up? Or maybe it was just meant to re-awaken old hurts that I’d somehow gotten over? I’m glad that your shot went so far wide of anything approaching something we’ve argued about that I can only stand aghast of your brazen attempt at vandalism, but I obviously can’t trust you to be around anything I care about because you appear to delight in destruction.
And finally, fuck you thrice over for putting on such a friendly, happy facade that I didn’t even realize what was happening and instead made some off-hand deflection about how I don’t want to take on the project a newb would represent. I never stood up for Good, I never got angry. I didn’t say a single thing in the rant above, when I should have said all of it. I’m ashamed of how hard I failed! It took me days just to realize what had happened, and I had been pre-warned! You are a vile old woman and I’ll do what I can to never interact with you again.