Rorschach Test of a Society’s Sexual Health

I was taken to the previously-mentioned clothing-optional club for the first time by my now-fiancee. She later confessed it was partly a test, as she couldn’t be long-term with someone who wasn’t comfortable with that sort of thing (spoiler alert: I passed). There’s a fair bit of nudity (more female than male), a bit of sex, and a lesser amount of public sex. It is also one of the most women-friendly places you’ll find.

As my fiancée said, these sorts of places only exist if the women feel comfortable and secure. If they don’t then they leave, and don’t come back, and the whole scene dies. It’s an empowering environment and I dare say it’s far more feminist than most places in the day-to-day world. Women can express their sexuality exactly however they want without judgment or shaming. There’s lots of exhibitionism and everyone’s enjoying it.

When I first saw the Blurred Lines video it reminded me of this. Partly because this is my experience with topless ladies running around, and partly because the first time I heard this song I was actually at the club. So I’ve associated this song with liberation and sexuality and all those good things. When I first heard someone say the video was sexist it was like getting slapped. “Wait, what? The song I associate with one of the most anti-sexist places I know of is sexist? How can this be possible??”

It seems most people don’t draw this same association. Most people have never been in a safe sex-play area. For most people, their experiences of nearly-naked women interacting with clothed men consist of strip clubs. I’ve only ever been in a strip-club once, and that was a very limited engagement which probably wasn’t typical. From what I’ve heard of them, many strip clubs can be degrading and are filled with douchebags. I don’t want to cast stones at something I don’t have experience with, but they have a reputation as being frequented by sexist assholes.

So, sadly, the average viewer will not see this and associate it with “awesome liberated sexy-time fun!” but rather “dark dingy sexist titty bar”.  Thus the video’s bad reputation. I think it’s a test that our society has failed utterly, that this is the association people make. Once happy swinger clubs are the norm and shitty strip bars are almost impossible to find, videos like this will be associated with play rather than exploitation. How is it that the opposite of that is what ended up happening? The world is mad.