The moment John kills himself, God’s wisdom is made manifest. For one brief instant, you are made one with John.
You see his ultimate sin.
You relive the moment of Miriam death–as John. You become him. You feel every sickening thing he felt as he failed to act that night.
It is you that prays for her to end. It is you that ignores her, lets her choke to death. It is you that feels pleasure in the dreams of a life without her. You sleep soundly, and happily, as your daughter fights for air, until her lungs can fight no more.
God cannot be one with sin, just as darkness cannot be within light. Still, He sought to give John one last chance. His love was great enough, He wished to forgive and embrace even him. In the end, John failed even in that.
The feeling of rightness, of justice, is slowly lifting from your chest. It is not an emotion of love. You are glad that God is Just, but you are joyous that he is Love. Gradually, warmth covers you. It lifts you high into the light. You forget why your chest was burning. Your tears continue to flow. They are not tears of rage, but tears of joy. They were always tears of joy. There is nothing else but joy. Nothing is wrong, and everything is beautiful forever.
Glory! Glory to the Most High! Holy! Holy! Holy is He!
You sing, and you are one with love, and love is one with you.